


Out of Nowhere

by izawrites, reigningqueenofwords



Series: Petty Insults [1]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 08:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12428628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izawrites/pseuds/izawrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords
Summary: Tony and Thor are fighting over who reader cares for.





	Out of Nowhere

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on reigningqueenofwords.tumblr.com  
> Chapter 2 on coauthored with winchester-smut.tumblr.com

You were lounging in the living room when the voices of Thor and Tony got loud. Raising an eyebrow, you could only hear bits, which was enough. You shook your head and turned up the movie you were watching, not interested in what the two were arguing about.

* * *

Thor had his arms crossed, looking at Tony. “I tell you, it is I.” He said smoothly.

“Yeah, right.” Tony rolled his eyes. “You wear a cape!” He tried to make that sound like some horrible fashion choice. “Shall I quote myself from way back? ‘Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?’” He smirked, earning an annoyed look from the God.

“And you, my friend, are but an overgrown child.” He shot back. “With all your toys that light up.”

Tony couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Are you serious? Coming from the man who had to have most things explained to him for his first 6 months here?” He leaned back against the counter. “You, _technically_ , aren’t even human!”

Thor raised his eyebrows at that. “And neither are you. You are part machine, are you not?” At least that made Tony less human than the others. 

“Really? You’re going for the low blows, _Maybeline_?” He gave him a look. “I doubt she’d want to date a man who would use more hair products than she does!” Tony looked smug at that.

“And I doubt that she would want to be involved in what was it… Ah, a ‘ladies’ man.” Thor grinned, chuckling. “Tell me, who is the last woman that we have seen around here more than once? Aside from Miss Potts.”

Tony shot him a look before turning on his heels and making his way towards the living room. Thor was not far behind, curious to see what his friend was about to do. Both men entered to your right, making you look over. You went to ask what was going on with all the arguing, but Tony pulled you to him. His lips met yours, making your eyes go wide for a moment before you kissed him back, smiling.

He pulled away and smirked at Thor, who looked unhappy. “Really?” Thor asked, staring at Tony. “Was that needed?” He looked to you. “I say I deserve one, as well.”

You looked between the two men, completely lost as to what was going on. But, hell, if two of the hottest guys you knew wanted to kiss you, who were you to argue? “Sure.” You smiled at him with a small shrug.

Thor looked like he’d won the lottery as he cupped your cheeks and kissed you deeply. Tony rolled his eyes at the sight, over this whole debate already. Your cheeks were a bright pink when he pulled away.

Swallowing, you licked your lips. “Not that I’m complaining about this…at _all_ …can I ask what that was all about?” You chuckled lightly.

“Our resident God here thinks it’s him you’d be interested in. I was trying to prove that it was me.” Tony told you simply.

“And I was trying to prove it’s me, and not the _bionic playboy_.” Thor shot Tony a look.

When you lost it, they both looked at you, eyes wide. Neither had any idea what made you laugh like that. “That’s what you’ve been arguing about? All morning?!” You asked, earning a nod. “You’re both great guys, seriously. I wouldn’t be able to choose.” You felt your face heat up further.

Tony nodded before he shrugged. “So, don’t.” You and Thor both looked at him, surprised he was the one to say that. “How often am I off on some business thing if I’m not with the Avengers?” He asked. “And you’re needed is Asgard at times, are you not?” Tony pointed out. “Wing it.”

“Basically, you want me to date you when Thor’s away, and him when you’re away? What the hell do I do when you’re both here?” Instantly you watched them both get a glint in their eyes, making you bite your lip. “ _OOOOOH_.” You said softly, getting the jist.

Thor smiled gently at you. “We would not do anything you are not comfortable with.” He assured you.

You thought it over for a minute before grinning. “Let’s do it.”

“Do what?” Clint walked in, eating a bag of chips, looking between the three of you.

“Her.” Tony and Thor said at the same time, making Clint stop chewing for a moment.

Once he’d swallowed, Clint nodded slightly. “Right. I’m gonna go find Nat…” He turned, trying to figure out what the hell he’d just walked in on.


End file.
